Baka Survivor

Baka Survivor
It’d be easier to die than live

Written by Grandpa Dinosaur

Sorry for the hiatus, I got some major rage that stem from a lot of issues. I’d rather not vent here and deal with it as it comes. I’m flying by the seat of my pants here, but it’s all right in the end which will come to an end in three months… I’m a fighter and a survivor. Not many could put up with the shit I deal with so SHUT YOUR MOUTH! You can’t put up with this shit better then me–AS I WAS SAYING: that don’t kill me or break my body, as long as I heal and walk(?) and have some memory, I’m gonna bounce back.

I’ve been discussing with Davita Cuttita about the Ghetto-ness of my personality. I’m a fucking bitch. I’m a feisty bitch, don’t think I’ll every stop being a bitch because it’s keeping me sane and helps me deal with problems, such as stupid crap that spews from people who think they are all that but can’t handle… the fact that someone may have a different idea? I’m not going sit here and see the skies infested with flies and shit that flies. It’s destroying the world.

I don’t love fighting

In fact I hate it, but it’s in my blood. The streets call me to fight and I try to resist as much as I can. It’s in the way I walk and think. You know, I grew up in an environment where you needed to be a cold hearted fighter. Well I think I once I tried to be a “normal person,” much like a teenager tried to fit in by acting like everyone else and it was a big, epic fail. But that’s all right, I like my bad-ass self a lot–

But a lot of people don’t.

You must be wondering about the name today, what type of title is Baka Survivor and subsequently thinking: “Oh no, not another Japanaophile! You can’t speak the language!”
It’s a god damn song title made by Japanese people! For the rest of you, I will try to explain as thoroughly as possible.

Baka is basically like saying stupid, idiot or fool. (According to Urban dictonary and the web. Ha ha ha.)

I’ve dealt with a lot of stupidity and now I’m a walking “conflict” zone. I won’t put up with nonsense from someone who comes from nowhere. I don’t expect people to put up with my nonsense either.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m gonna smash up your shit, unless you can temporarily make me feel remorseful about it for five seconds (enough to stop) or prove you are RIGHT or that there is a better way to do it or think it or whatever happened–correct actions to adequately correct said situation.

You know why I’m so mad?

Because people have too much privilege and credit than they deserve these days. “The customer is always right.” Blah, blah, blah, all that crap. Everyone thinks they’re smart. But me, I KNOW I’M STUPID! That’s like a step towards learning and understanding the world. It makes you a more creative person. Once you think you’re so smart, you’re dead in the water. I can admit that I’m always ready to learn and admit I’m wrong. I know that communication and understanding is a important and I factor it into everything before I do anything.

Someone who speaks to an audience should also be ready to be corrected.

My frustration these days are mostly coming from people who have too much privilege and too little social responsibility.

Yes, I said the big words: Social Responsibility. Yes, I’m a big hippie, Buddhist and philanthropist! I help people for free, but I’m also willing to give them the rope to hang themselves.

Social responsibility in this situation would be to know when and where is the right place to talk about their ideas. People need to be held accountable for their actions and ideas, but ideas more, because it is an bad idea that one believes in something morally wrong or illogical with conviction… That is an action drives people to madness.

People who don’t have credentials should not be allowed to talk at all but on the other hand, should they prove that they have the credentials then they should be given a higher status or something, respect, acknowledgment… A medal? However nothing should just be given away. Then things in this world would lose value.

But what is right, wrong or debatable should be known and understood. I’m willing to ask, debate or fight for the right to do so.

It’s been a long time and I’m still learning–but I’m not going to stop and I’m not going to let someone change the subject because they can’t talk about it.

It’s the same as running away. It’s the same as quitting. There’s nothing wrong with not understanding, but please try to understand other people. Please. With all your might please try to understand other people.

I feel no remorse for hurting their bodies but always balk at hurting someone’s feelings. Ha ha. WHAT this world will does to you… But you know, words hurt more than a beating.

Returning to the subject: If you have a quit option, you are too rich or over-privilaged.
(LOL Yes, I include crying as a privilege that I very much enjoy as a once in a while event.)

I can’t forgive quitters.

I can’t forgive people who end their story on a sour note. I like to drag around my heavy past (love it in fact), because when you look at it and how far I have come with so little respect and kindness you will understand: I am no quitter. That is where my strength comes from. I always turn my failures around or try to walk away with something in my hand. Life doesn’t get easier as I was taught, when you get too bad ass you get radiation-poisoning and die like Toki from Fist of the North Star/Hokuto no Ken.

This is who I am, I come from nothing–A hard past, what little experiences and talents I have and gain I maker my assets. I can’t forgive quitters as much as I can’t forget who I am and what my past means.

I’m not going to give my respect to people who want it, who think that it comes free and easy. I’m going to give my respect to people who deserve it. People who get my attention and affection deserve it, except my brother and that is because I am forced to feed him–Like I am ACTUALLY forced to feed him, I have the belt trauma to prove it.

Learn this and stop getting on my case, I’m going to stop inhaling your shit from now on.

I’m not going to let you change the subject. I’m going to make you understand these words and the ideals that built and broke me as person.

Because I don’t know how much more of your stupidity I can survive.

I might die.


~ by l on April 7, 2008.

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