THE BODY POLICE!!


THE BODY POLICE!!
Cut by: Davita Cuttita

OK.

Davita has been very, very busy but rest assured; once these French exams are over next week I’ll be back with a vengeance! (and bringing Grandpa Dinosaur with me!!)

Something in particular has been bugging me a lot today. Or…many a day, actually.

It’s people who think they should tell you what to eat.

I’ve been watching the numbers rolly-polly so I know that most of ya’ll are pretty much aware that I’m 5”7 and 130 pounds. Yeah, I run but at the same I eat mercilessly and fairly indiscriminately.

Davita has been avoiding this for ages due to camera-shyness, but to give you an idea of what EXACTLY this looks like on my frame, here’s me:

But, people still feel like they can tell me what I should or should not be eating.

My family? Nope. You should see my Dad when he brings his friends around…

“Have you seen my daughter? Have you seen my daughter? HAVE YOU SEEN MY DAUGHTER!?!?! LOOK AT HER, THIS IS MY DAUGHTER! MY FIRST GIRL, MY OLDEST DAUGHTER!!!

(Sadly, I’m not exaggerating)

But other people do. Not in a rude way, but in a way where it’s like:

“Oh boy, I’ve gotta keep this average size girl from getting fat and becoming a burden upon the shoulders of society! I believe I’ve done my part by telling her to avoid carbs after eight o’clock!”

I guess now is a good time to mention that I’m eating dinner, for a second time; as I write this. Oh, it’s also after 8PM by nearly two hours. OOPS! WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO??! (Hey, I’m Jamaican city folk, if you try and steal my rice I will fuckin’ kill you. I’m serious.)

Now, I’m sure for fat people these comments must be the equivalent of police brutality.

CNN newsworthy police brutality.

Let us take my dear, plush, co-conspirator Grandpa Dinosaur for example.

Grandpa Dinosaur loves tea and occasionally, we may partake in a pot (of tea!). One day as we were making tea and going back upstairs to our room, her dad called out; reminding her not to drink too much tea because it would make her fatter.

Did you read that? Let me reiterate:

He said TEA would make her fat.

Hot water and dried out leaves would make her fat. (Grandpa Dinosaur rarely, if ever; drinks her tea with sugar. I’m usually loading mine up with it on the other hand.)

Because you know; if you’re fat anything you eat unless it is fresh, steamed or boiled fruit or vegetables will make you even fatter. IT’S SIMPLE SCIENCE I JUST MADE UP! It’s so easy; anybody can do it!

Most of the time when I read about body police, they seem to be lurking in offices. I don’t know why; they just are.

I LOVE my job. I LOVE working in offices because I like being meticulous and conversing banally by water coolers. So I’ve gotta take the good and the bad; just like anyone else.

But then you get these…people. Who just police everything that goes into your mouth.

You know the type, c’mon!

The ones who careen about you as you snack on something or have your lunch.

“Hey, what’s that you’re eating?”

“How many calories is in that?”

“Did you know that what you are eating contains half your daily intake of fat?”

“You’re eating that but really, you should be eating THIS”

“Hey, eat too many of those and you’ll get fat”

“Well, I can eat this because I’m going to my spin class/walk/mow the lawn/yoga tonight”

Do you know my response to all of that?

“IT’S DELICIOUS”

Really. That’s all I say.

Try it sometime! Feel bad about a slice of pizza? IT’S DELICIOUS. Want a cookie? IT’S DELICIOUS. Eating a bag of carrots? IT’S DELICIOUS. Drinking a coke? IT’S DELICIOUS.

Because bodies only crave deliciousness.

I’m going to do the opposite of the body police; I am not here to guilt-trip you or remind you to do some push-ups after that cheeseburger—or even after that bowl of steamed vegetables.

No—I am here to remind you to EAT because if you do not fill your body with the nutrience it needs you will DIE of starvation like some unfortunate supermodel.

I am here to remind you that there are people in the world who have next to nothing or nothing at all to eat so BE GRATEFUL and use this resource as best as you possibly can.

DO NOT WASTE FOOD and DO NOT WASTE TIME mentally flagellating yourself over your natural and essential instinct for SURVIVAL because THAT’S WHAT HUNGER IS.

Don’t like what I’m eating?

Well…I don’t care.


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~ by davitacuttita on July 23, 2008.

5 Responses to “THE BODY POLICE!!”

  1. “if you try and steal my rice I will fuckin’ kill you. I’m serious”

    Can I get an AMEN?

    And I love this post.

    And hurry back the internets is boring without you guys.

  2. I loved this post! It made me go “Yaaaa!” Then, you know what I did? I will tell you what I did. I consumed a guacamole bacon hamburger with great gusto, because it was tasty! Also, unassociated side note: I love your sassy fishnet leggings. ~FIN~

  3. Ooh! Glad this made you feel good, Loopzilla!

    I am sooo jealous of that hamburger you just had. Like totally.
    Now I require meat!!

    Yeah, I love my fishnet stockings. Strumpette-like danger with a hint of class is what they spell for me. I also enjoyed your use of french, si, si, oui-oui, j’aime la vie.

    Shannon, we’ll be back shortly, babes. Doin’ our best cuz it’s HARD out there for a pimp! >_<

  4. You are gorgeous, and I love this post. It’s delicious!

  5. Glad you’re happy Kat! I am getting to work on some four-cheese alfredo sauce with gnocchi topped with chicken, mushrooms and red and green peppers with a hint of pesto.

    It’s gonna be hot–I mean, delicious.

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