Optimism Can be Ignorance

Optimism Can be Ignorance
By Grandpa Dinosaur

Sometimes I just wring my hands, I try to explain White privilege to White people. They nod dumbly in response, agree enthusiastically, say “it’s all stupid prejudice,” “internal racism,” “whatever it is at the time” and then…

Go back to benefiting from White Privilege.

Go back to sitting on my fucking back, teetering on my shoulders. I used to call it patience, I know I’m a fucking pushover at times but I’m gonna drop people off cliffs when enough is enough.

I’m really frustrated, I need to stop wringing my hands when I’m mad, my hands are starting to bleed. Now and then a well meaning person will pipe up, “lotion your hands.”

The lotion doesn’t help the ass rape I get.

I keep wringing my fucking hand until they bleed, because it’s all I have to prevent myself from strangling and murdering idiots to prevent from looking bad.

White Privilege is when you can abuse Coloured people in ignorance, but still be innocent. Still think they’re good people, “yeah, in the past the Black people were slaves, but I didn’t make them slaves. That was some other guy, or my great grandpa or a ‘unfortunate reality from the past.’ I’m sorry, but can we stop talking about it? It’s hurting my feelings.”

“YOU’RE HURTING MY FEELINGS?” That’s all you got to do, BLACK PEOPLE BEING SLAVES HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! IN FACT YOU BROUGHT IT UP YOU IGNORANT BITCH!

So ignorant!

Sometimes I think these cheerful, nodding White people who claim to be anti-Racist, and you (if you are White) can pipe up and say: “THAT AIN’T ME, I AIN’T THAT IGNORANT!!! THOSE PEOPLE ARE SELFISH AND IGNORANT!!” And be angry WITH US, because that’s what we want. We want you to become UN-BLINDED. We want you to see the things we see, the way we see it.

See the horrors done to coloured children, immigrant women, hardworking fathers—SEE IT! OPEN YOURS EYES!!!

Because WE can’t turn away.

I used to be THREATENED AND CHASED by hoards of White Teenagers who TOLD ME they were going to beat me up and that I should take the beatings, that because my skin was tan and I was Asian that I deserved to be hit and I was told I wasn’t allowed to retaliate. AND I FOUGHT BACK! And they came in bigger numbers and I fought back, ALONE! I beat every ONE of their asses to the ground. Sometimes I look back, and I think, “I could have been raped or mutilated.” Could have gotten ugly faster. My White “friends” back then told me that “those kids were just stupid and spoiled, nothing would have happen.” even when I had bruises that White people had to much privilege to see.

And White people and my White peers because I went to a predominately White school saw and saw I was frightened and did not stop to help.

Not once.

Never stood up for me, never stood as a witness.

White privilege benefit to the White kids who walked off scott-free. White privilege benefits to the White people who just ignored. White privilege benefits to the people who get to be right when for being White. White supremacy at it’s finest.

I often say I look like a bad guy, I look like villain because society has portrayed me (being myself) to be a villain—in narrative works, in movies, cinema, the news, the police. I’m not a bad person, I look like a bad person, I look like then one who started it, I’m often blamed in the end, put in detention for starting shit because of my skin… I can’t ignore that, what do I tell kids, what do I tell Davita’s little brothers?

You’ve got White people who wanna be the good guys and make coloured people play the bad guys, and if you were a White bad guy you were rich and out of touch with reality. I wanna see a “Nice” White guy, an “Everyday Joe” being a bad guy for once because it’s fuckers like that who are the bad guys in my eyes. I used to get beaten up by them, can’t blame me for seeing them that way. “Every day” “small town” “good” people. Who are conveniently White and right. Every-time-without-fail. Oh, and are also suffer from White Privilege, toss that in for me too.

We are on the chopping block, we cannot be ignorant. I know where I stand currently in life, underneath the White man when I prop him up. Tilling the food in the fields for him to eat, who lives not knowing the sweaty blood that has escaped my hands to feed those every bountiful fields. I wring my hands KNOWING this. All my hard work, the former monk I respect at the temple telling me that I’m a role model and a model citizen, “do not let White people look down on us.”

White people who have White Privilege are so BLISSFULLY ignorant. I’m tired of people who have class privilege, claiming to be anti-racist when they talk shit about coloured people not working hard enough. FUCK YOU! Don’t tell me I don’t work hard, I AM THE BAIL-OUT PLAN! It’s nice that these people get to stand up there on the IVORY TOWER looking down on us CONVENIENTLY poor coloured people when I built that Ivory tower. Makes me sicker to think I built it, but better believe I’ll be smiling when it catches fire and burns down. I’d have a party, them wish they were invited.

I’m so mad, and mad at people who are all “don’t get angry at me. ;-;” Because you know, it’s really my fault for having faith in friendships with people. I really shouldn’t keep friends with people who have White privilege for more than five back-stab attempts.

I’m currently filling boxes full of shit to mail back to people who are no longer my friends because the undervalued my feelings as a coloured person.

It’s fun, you should try it sometimes—though the shipping bill hurts the wallet a bit.

But you know, I’m learning to let go… Also I’m learning to let go of bad friends on top of that.

It’s working out well, I’ve replaced then with new friends who understand what I am saying and won’t paint me as a bad, meanie when I get angry. Because I’m coloured, and coloured people look scary when they are mad I hear it being a rumour and all….

I often sat around… Wringing my hands, thinking about how White Privilege is just another for a privilege. The word is considered mean, but more and more I dealt with White Privilege I realized how much of it was ignoring the upset, poor coloured people in the world in order to remain optimistic and happy and justified that their existence did not come from the broken hands of children in foreign countries.

Why is this article called “Optimism is Ignorance”? Because I found that so many White “anti-Racists” were so believing about their own ideas, yet were sensitive when their ideas were challenged and defeated. They were optimistic about the change they were going to bring for coloured people, but like all silly first time anti-Racists, they forgot to include coloured people and consider their feelings, opinions and experiences as anything valid. OH NO! “But I’m doing this for you, it’s a charity event!”

Sometimes people can be so blind thinking they’re doing good for the world, when they’re ignoring the bad by seeing coloured people as weaker beings, but at the same time silencing their voices. Don’t be a bad Anti-Racist. Listen. Laugh. Cry. Smile. Don’t forget to do it with us and not for us.

Optimism Can be Ignorance, White Privilege can be Ignorance.

Please choose not to be ignorant and stupid. Thanks ahead of time from me.

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~ by l on October 8, 2008.

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