Letter of Termination of Services

business_meeting

Letter of Termination of Services
Cut by: Davita Cuttita

A friend and I were up late-night girl talking about men and our vaginas–you know, how we use them to pee (‘cuz we don’t use um for anything else at this point) and how annoying it is being a girl. Quite frankly, I am pretty pissed at Pamela (my vagina) right now so I wrote this letter of resignation to her:

“Dear Pamela,

From hence forth your services with Davita Cuttita Enterprises will be terminated.

We thank you for your years of services to Cuttita Enterprises, but unfortunately, your work habits as of late are; quite frankly, sub-par, illogical and self-centred.

You refuse to follow orders and are continuously a renegade harrassing male co-workers and generally doing all assignments at your own pace rather than taking orders. At Cuttita Enterprises, we strongly believe in teamwork–you, Pamela; are no longer an efficient team member. Numbers have proven that due to your lack of work ethic in regards to obeying orders from management; overall task focus and productivity levels have dropped by a quarter of a percent in the last season alone; this is highly unacceptable. And so are you.

Consequently, we must ask you to vacate company premises immediately.

However, you must leave the company essential pack you received upon hiring behind; this pack includes one (1) uterus and two (2) ovum respectively and any refusal on your part to leave or any consequent return on your part to company property after you receive this letter will be met with brute force and calling of the proper authorities. Also, you may partake in no portions of the estrogen you’ve aided in producing as it, as you know, is responsible for our massive bosoms which have increased company revenue, benefits and have also recently made us an ally of France (or at least, a man in France).

We are quasi-sorry to see you go and wish you the best in your future endevours.

Thank you,

~Management,
Davita Cuttita Enterprises

*Le sigh* I feel so much better.

Here’s a brief video of the lovely Torontonian Mistress Nina Arsenault making some fun jokes and giving good advice in an interview talking about her transition from male to female, who should undergo surgury and how great it is to not have to worry about being a victim to Vaginadom but still have boobies. Safe for work, blahblahblah but watch out for the random NegroVision!! I swear, it’s taking over. I was laughing my ass off for hours.

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~ by davitacuttita on November 12, 2008.

3 Responses to “Letter of Termination of Services”

  1. Ha! Thanks for the NegroVision, lol!

  2. Of course, Macon! ANYTIME! I think it’s the new phenomenon.

    As for Nina, she used to be a professor at my University and transistioned in front of countless students. She’s like a legend on campus!

  3. Lucky campus! And you as a student. That’d change anyone’s life.

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