OOH BABY! Lemme Fix My Weave!

super_weave

Ooh Baby! Lemme Fix My Weave!
I Got the Receipt, So Yeah; It’s My Hair.

Cut by: Davita Cuttita

Back n’ on track for 2009!!  Happeh New Yeuh!

So anyway, Davita was thinking to herself the other day because remaining a permanent resident of Canadada-land is definitely not on my agenda at this point in time.

I know that a lot of hotels and hostels hire foreigners for three month contracts in Europe and was browsing through some positions in England and the requirements last year as I have quite a bit of family there. Also, the last thing my grandfather asked me to do before he died was to try to make the move over there/get dual citizenship so I could be with them. Which has left yours truly feeling quite conflicted.

As I was making-out with the idea of possibly spending three months of summer 2010 working in a hotel there, one big thought occurred to me:

What am I going to do with my hair?

Especially, in Europe.

For a moment, it just felt like I’d hit a brick wall.

PRO: Living in Europe with cheap chocolate and beer, hot men with sexy accents & lovely family. Hurrah!
CON: Having hideous hair. Boooo!

My hair is quite complicated and as a University student on an air-tight budget, the things I mainly go after are durability and chic style at an affordable price. It’s hard to find, but not impossible and extremely time and cost effective.

Now, some people may say “Davita, why don’t you just go au natural? Just be happy to be nappy!” and my response is “Yeah, but shortly afterwards I will probably be near bald.”

I was brought to this country from Jamaica as a baby and my body has not quite fully adjusted to the climate; nor have the bodies of any of the other women in my family. I kept my hair natural during my childhood up until my mid-teens, however; it still fell out during winter and as I get older, if I do not have my hair in braids or braided up beneath the warmth of extensions or a wig in the winter, my hair just starts breaking and falling out like nobody’s business. My mother, sister and other female relatives all have the same problem. It’s a common complaint by us women from hot climates: move to a cold place and your hair starts falling out.

Not to mention that every year, without fail; I always seem to acquire some sort of massive sickness at minimum twice; before the winter season is over. My youngest brother seems to suffer the most from our bodies not yet adapting even though he was born here. At the age of three he once had to spend all of Christmas holiday in a hospital with an IV in his arm and he still gets pretty sick every year.

He has fabulous hair, though! Allow me to briefly explain mine.

My Dad has short, curly brown hair. Hair that you would probably see more typically on a White or Middle Eastern person as both his parents were biracial. My mother on the other hand, has Black hair more typical of the average Black woman. So my hair ended up as an extremely wavy, “auburnish” brown mix between my father’s hair and my mother’s hair. My older brothers have the typical coarse hair accustomed to many Black men and used to put chemicals in their hair to attempt to emulate the waves my sister and I naturally had. So yeah, men feel “hair pressure” too; undoubtedly.

To give you a slightly better idea, whenever I go to the hair salon Black stylists who are unfamiliar with me are usually, at first; quite hesitant to treat my hair. Yes, you read that correctly.

They get all confused about the colour and texture, pawing through it with an arched eyebrow. They believe that yes; my hair has been colour treated to make it an auburn brown and that I had a straightening perm no later than a month ago and insist on touching up the roots alone. “No, Hairdresser person!” I have to say, “I have never coloured my hair and the last time I permed it was about a year ago.” (I rarely to never perm my hair)

Then come the questions. Why is my hair like that? Where are my parents from? Am I lying? And so forth…

So I always inevitably end up having to explain that my Dad is mixed so my hair is a little different.
Sometimes, talks break down even more as they then go on to my skin colour.

Once when I was shopping for coloured extensions and had to go through aforementioned “yes, this is my hair” story with a dark-skinned Black girl that was brushing it she actually paused to smile at me after I mentioned my Dad’s background. “Wow! No wonder your skin is so brown, this colour would look good on you, your skin is light enough to pull it off. My complexion is too dark.”

*Sigh.*

No comment, really; I’ve addressed this before.

Until I got to thinking about my trip, I never really thought how big a part hair would play overseas. It’s already bad enough here, I’m not sure how I’ll cope in Europe. Are they going to shoo me out the door because they can’t do Black hair? Will I be ridiculously gouged when I do find a salon that can do my hair? Maybe.

The last time I was in England 2 years ago, I remember getting a few questions from my Aunt and Grandpa about my extensions and hair care. My Aunt on all accounts passes for White (although she doesn’t consider herself White) and although she can forego perms for straightening, she still occasionally straightens her thick, long and wavy brown hair with a hot comb. She says she wouldn’t be able to manage it otherwise and warned me that salons in the UK were ridiculously expensive.

Here I am my damies, sittin’ here, cut up and trippin’ because I would have no idea what to do about my hair or how to go about caring for it outside of North America. I’ll figure it out though because there’s no damn way I’m staying in this country; I wanna see the world dammit and if I gotta be bald, I’ll wig or weave it up like Lil’ Kim at the Grammies!!

Question of the Day: Why do people HATE?

What is wrong with wigs and weaves? It’s not like we’re all lining up to get our scalps cut open so this can be installed like fake tittays. It’s just the hair on your head. Personally, I would rather wear a fashionable wig or weave than colour treat, perm, press and pull my own hair into oblivion. The latter lasts longer, is cheaper and safer anyway.

AND DO NOT FOR A MINUTE GIVE ME A SIDE-EYE because EVERYONE does it.

(and yeah, I’d probably jump off the bridge too.)

Name a Black female celebrity. Anyone at all.

Tyra (my idol!).
Beyoncé.
Rihanna.
Whitney.
Oprah.

WIGS AND WEAVES!! One and all!

Even if it’s not all the time, you know they do it or have done it so do not, for a hot minute, nasty-face a sistah if she decides to go with those options because they are convenient, fast and saucy. Hell, even White chicks do it too, so stop. No one is safe from the weave. Seriously, shut up n’ siddafukdown unless you have a better idea (which you don’t).

Also, there is nothing wrong with wearing your natural hair, either. If your hair is more than capable of lasting through shit weather, more power to you I wish my hair could do that without falling out in clumps!!

However, I still think we can award a few side-eyes here and there.

What’s with the Black girls that dye their hair (bleach) blonde/get bleach blonde weaves to match their blue contact lenses?

I’ve met a few Black people with naturally blue eyes, believe it or not; but what those chicks do just doesn’t sit right with me. I can roll with red, green, purple, orange, blue, pink, brown, magenta, black what have you; but why the blonde to match the untrue blue in your eyes? Also, what’s with the people that tell you straight is the only way to go? There are curly weaves (which are so hot right now, btw). There are afro weaves.

I’m conflicted.

One part of me says it’s best if one picks one or the other—it’s either the blonde hair or the blue contacts; choose because you can’t wear them both at the same time. Another part of me says you need a hug because these internalized racism issues are getting out of hand and manifesting themselves as costly beauty procedures.

And another part of me wants a fancy new weave for my trip to Europe. Just a few tracks here and there to add body to my somewhat thin hair. It’ll be asymmetrical cut, short, you know; all new-wave haut-couture. Fierce!

I love my hair. I can’t do everything I want with it and personally, I wish I could just go get it styled and wear it extension-free all year long but I can’t. Oh well.

When I was in highschool, we were all in class one day and this little White girl in my class sat beside me and smiling, she said “I wish I had your hair.”

“Why?”

“Well, just LOOK AT IT!” she screamed.

“Do you realize your hair type is the only type of hair that can do and be any style in the world? My hair can never be like your hair, no matter what I do. Your hair can be poofy, straight, curly—your hair can do anything. I wish I had your hair.”

She’s RIGHT. My hair CAN do anything! Well, almost. It can’t do an afro, can you believe that?! What a rip-off.

Anyway, do you, wear your wig/weave/whatever; but know that the the bill stops when you think what you have is just no good. The bill stops when you think that is the best way to be, the only way to be, the perfect way to be. Period. So I’m more looking at thoughts, attitudes and feelings rather than actual performance but I digress…

There’s no way out, really. I won’t lie. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. Wear it, weave it, press it, perm it–it’s a stress reliever in the sense that OK, your hair is like most of the general populations when styled as such (don’t forget many Asians, Indians and Latinos also have straight silky hair). You now have one less thing to think about. But you’re still gonna be questioned on why your hair looks that way; even those of us who’ve worn more Afrocentric hairstyles will get curious questions which are occassionally accompanied by prejudice and ignorance(been there, done that).

No matter what our style, we’ll all be embarrassed and ashamed at the end of the day and to me, that is the biggest problem in need of addressing.

This would all be solved by more Black hair shows on TV as far as my sleepy brain is concerned. Maybe another 70s movement might help. We need to ressurrect James Brown!! *ahem* Enough tangents…

So whether it’s growing outta the follicles on your scalp, or if you’ve got the proof of purchase or both, work it hunnies because it’s yours and fabulous either way. Except if you’re platinum blonding-it with blue lenses, jury’s still out on you but Imma give you a side-eye and a thumbs down just in case.

All this talk of new hairstyles has got me thinkin’ in a whole new fierce n’ fabulous direction so please excuse me while I fix my weave.

bearhair

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~ by davitacuttita on January 8, 2009.

5 Responses to “OOH BABY! Lemme Fix My Weave!”

  1. you should link me : D

    thanks. -Nia

  2. Done and DONE!

    I have no idea why I didn’t do it already.

    BTW, I checked out your sex worker friend’s blog and it’s very interesting. People in Newfoundland have funny accents that make me laugh. She’s also keeping it real.

  3. thanks for linking me! and yah, she does rock.

  4. OMG…You are so right with this one. I have hair at a nice length and I want to keep wearing my wigs because my hair is growing crazy fast. I just started wearing contacts too. I tried the blue but no blonde hair for me. I am rocking the green now. What can I say? I love changing my look a lot and it is not healthy for my hair to be relaxed, colored, chopped off just for a change. So I have adopted some wigs and my bf laughs about it. I have a collection. I love it and not gonna stop just because of people’s opinions. Rock on with ya bad self! Peace!

  5. Hi Cartesia! Thanks for reading!

    Oh wow, you and I are actually in a quite similar boat (I’ve been wearing green contacts for 4 years, they’re colourblends so they mix with the my natural brown eyes and I can see great through them). ROCK ON wit yo’ bad self!! I absolutely and unapologetically LOVE wigs and also have a collection!! ^o^ Keep doing you because it’s absolutely faaabulous dah-ling.

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