The Change: Fat for a Day

A completely unrelated photo for Cuteness.

A completely unrelated photo for Cuteness.

The Body Size That Fits

Cut by: Davita Cuttita

I’ve been wondering what’s like to be really fat.

I’ve noticed that a lot of the environments I traverse through on the daily are typically not accepting or positive towards different body types.

Over the years I’ve spent a lot of time doing office jobs. I really enjoy them and now have nearly 3 years of experience after totalling up all my summer stints and internships. They let me be meticulous, spend a lot of time with words and allow me the opportunity to earn respect from many people years and years my senior. In all my experience however, they’ve always proven to be the most toxic environment regarding appearances.

I’ve seen branch managers puff out their faces and make elephant noises as fat people walked by on the street.

I’ve seen a business owner scowl at a fat person and call them a “fat and sour pig” while assuring me that his wife would never, ever get to that weight and “destroy herself” like that.

I’ve heard secretaries criticize their friends’ choice of wedding dress because she “needed to have an hourglass figure to be able to wear that dress” and because she was “round with big arms” the dress would be a bad choice.

It’s disturbing. I suppose it’s because everything is so presentation oriented in that environment. Everything has to look “perfect” and presentable at all times.

So what would life be like for me if I were fat? Not pleasantly plump mind you as I discussed in Big Girl, Skinny Girl

but FAT.

For this experiment, let’s hit up Imaginationland, throw in a dash of my observations of fat people and add a cup of  watered-down science to get me fat.

I went over to the money-loving “friends” over at the Weight Watchers website and used the Body Mass Index calculator. I don’t understand BMI calculators. Well, I UNDERSTAND them, I just don’t get how they come up with the shit that they do whilst only taking weight and height into account (and sometimes age).

My height is 5”7 (170cm) and my weight is 127lbs (57kg). This would give me a BMI of 20, 20—25 considered healthy ranges. My maximum weight load before “obesity” is 160lbs. OK.


I'm at a "healthy" weight and they still want me to register?

So let’s fatten me up now, shall we? We’ll add three pounds to my current weight then double the pleasure to 260lbs. What say you, Weight Watchers? I am now obese (in Imaginationland).

Time to get up! Got my teeth all brushed, breakfast in my belly and am watching Maury and the forecast before I leave the house. What’s with all these Weight Watchers commercials and diet products?

People sometimes ask me to squeeze into small spaces and reach things for them. I those requests won’t be happening anymore.

Guess I’ll just carry on my daily routine here and hit up work where someone in some department will tell me in “soft” words that I look like fat, ugly and disgusting and completely disregard my kick-ass hairstyle. My face is pretty though but that doesn’t mean I don’t gotta watch out for the DIABEETUS. Thank you, co-worker! I also appreciate that sad excuse of sausage casing that harbours your soul, too. YA JERK. And for the record, bitches just DON’T KNOW ‘bout my diabeetus!

After I leave the room, no doubt everyone and their Mom (who they’ll probably call to hate on me with during lunch hour) will have something to say about how fat I am and laugh at me. Ah well, fuck ‘em it’s time for French class!

Wow, these chairs are so small, awkward, old, cramped and close together! When I was skinny, I had to do some crazy Cirque du Soleil shit with my legs to even GET to the seat. Then I literally had to suck my ass cheeks in before I could sit down. This is going to be a challenge! I’m also late for class so now everyone is staring at me.

What a day! TGIF though, I suppose I’ll hit the gym to blow off some steam before hitting the town with the girls for the weekend!

Look at all these other students enjoying the virtues of exercise! How invigorating! Did that blonde guy just laugh at me as I walked to the water fountain after getting off the treadmill? Why did that slim girl just look me up and down like that? BITCH YOU DID NOT.

To hell with this shit, I’m going to All-You-Can-Eat Indian Buffet! Woot!

Sure is smaller in this restaurant than I remember, that’s fo’ shizzle. Tiny tables and walk-ways. This butter chicken is awesome and it’s definitely time for plate number three and some desert. Why is it people keep on staring at me and whispering everytime I go to-and-fro? Everytime I put something in my mouth? Haterz these days, I swear; I keep them employed. Why am I letting this get to me? Kinda gettin’ nervous…my back’s all hot and my palms are all sweaty…is this embarrassment? I don’t feel so hungry anymore….the bill, please.

Still kinda early, perhaps I can do some shopping! Hooray! Hello Clothing Purveyor-Person! Do you happen to have a pair of blue, straight-leg jeans in my size? Ah…no, you say? I will try another shop, thank you for your services and the look of disgust you gave me as I walked through the door!

Shopping sure is tiring. I’ve been to almost all the stores in the mall but no one seems to carry my size of jeans! I did get this nifty t-shirt for $60 though at the plus size store. I used to be able to buy at least half a dozen or more t-shirts with $60 when I was slimmer. Huh.

What a day, maybe I’ll go clubbing! Dancing, booze and loud music is a guaranteed pick-up! Yeah, this place is nice, sweet jams and no country music! A pint of Guinness please, barkeep! Feels kinda odd being the biggest girl in the room though. Lookit all those skinny-minis running around like a bunch of cheap whores. I’m in a club, all right. Is it just me, or are people shoving and being assholes a bit more than usual? Why are those people pointing at me? Feeling kinda awkward as this place gets fuller and fuller. Up with this fuckery I will not put. I better go out and call a cab.

Waiting for the cab now. C’MON! Ah, hey there friendly passer-bys in the car! Are you enjoying your evening of drunken debauchery? What? I’m a FAT BITCH you say? Why, I never! A few more passer-bys…COW? How dare you compare me to the bovine species you shit-stained cum rag! FERK U.

Home again, home again, jig-itty-jig-jig. I guess I’ll watch a bit of TV before I go to bed. Ah, everyone on TV who is fat is loud, annoying and stupid; all these traits of which make them funny. *change channel* Here we go. A fat person with some intelligence and witty humour…what the…fat jokes about how awful fat people are? What the fuckizzle? Did I miss a memo or something? *change channel* OK, there’s another fat person with some smarts and dazzle but why are their glasses 5 inches thick and why do they constantly use an inhaler? They’re just as annoying as the loud and stupid ones. I’m going to bed!

Wow. That was harder than I thought.

The most difficult part was the staring and the comments.

As a Black person (and I’m sure other people of Colour can attest to this), sometimes you can enter a room and be the only Coloured person there and you get “the look” from people and feel awkward. Sometimes someone might say something shitty while trying to make conversation. However, you KNOW that it’ll be REALLY hard for that person to say something outright racist to you without suffering repercussions from other people in the room or, if at work, receiving some sort of punishment.

As a young woman, the same goes. People can’t just say whatever they’d like about women these days and if they do; they can get in a lot of shit. A few years ago I recall the police investigating one of my non-office jobs because of perverted comments a customer was saying about our female cashier (who was 15 at the time).

It’s quite a difficult feat to be in any respectable public space that allows or encourages you say or act demeaningly towards anyone based on their race, sex, religion, disability or sexual orientation.

So why isn’t it the same for fat people? Why is it OK to yell at them, throw things at them, demean them and disgrace them?

Honestly, I don’t think I’d be able to go through it—especially the staring and unkind comments whenever I go out to eat. Whenever I eat at this weight, even when I eat like a monster, I’m invisible. No one cares.

Being Black is hard enough sometimes. I have no idea how some people cope with the stigmas of both race and fat every single day. They must have a lot of courage, though. I hope.

I’m going to bake my friends some soft white chocolate macadamia nut cookies–from scratch. They’re wonderful, beautiful, smart, strong and fun. I don’t know if I can ever get all of them to see themselves the way that I do but I’m not going to stop trying until they at least gets a little taste.

I hope you know how sweet, warm and delicious you are; no matter what your size.



~ by davitacuttita on January 15, 2009.

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