The Homeless Guy Who Just Asked Me For 5 Cents.

Mariah Carey pictured here with A Homeless.

Mariah Carey pictured here with A Homeless.

Guest Post: The Homeless Guy Who Just Asked Me For 5 Cents.
By: Ethan Gaybriel

This is a guest post by a dear, queer, Brazillian friend of mine;      Mr. Ethan Gaybriel.

Ethan is the bestest man ever. We met about 2 years ago in a sociology class I eventually dropped. Ethan was looking hot, gorgeous and fashionable while I was drawing topless, headless, hopelessly disproportionate women, rabbits on fire, and some laughing flowers in my binder. Glancing over at the macabre mess, Ethan immediately said “I’ve only known you for about 10 minutes, but I feel like I’ve known you for 10 years.”

We’ve been soulmates eversince.

Ethan is a fierce pavement stomping nazi killer with a BA in Linguistics and will be poking around PDDP once in a while to ejaculate brilliance all over us from his Beautiful Mind. Make him feel welcome and be sure to check out his website. ~Love, D.C.

To: The homeless guy who just asked me for 5 cents

Everyday I see you sitting outside my grocery store asking people for 5 cents.

Your life must really suck but its hard to feel sorry for someone who doesn’t seem to ask for much out of life – 5 cents? I mean come on, really? Even our expressions that we use in daily life use higher amounts than that. For example “you’re not getting a dime from me” and “10 cent whore” are both expressions meant to be used with a very small amount to illustrate a point and even these use a higher amounts than 5 cents. 5 cents is so ridiculously low that its almost like asking for a penny and almost as ridiculous as asking for hundreds of dollars. It really speaks volumes about you.

I was really tempted to talk to you about this today especially since you don’t seem like a crazy.

If you had asked me for food, I would have treated you to an excellent meal which would certainly cost more than 5 cents. I would have turned right back around, gone back to the hot food section of the supermarket and gotten you something to eat. That would benefit you a lot more than 5 cents.

If you had asked me to help you find work, I’d be more than happy help you with a resume and even applying for jobs on your behalf using my contact information since its safe to assume you have none. God, I know places that will hire ANYONE… I know one place in particular that you walk in and as long as you speak English (reasonably well, not even perfect) you have an instant job at $11/hour – 40 hours per week. I know $11/hour is pretty low but I’m pretty damn sure that making $1760/month is a better gig than sitting outside a supermarket asking for 5 cents here and there (I’ve never seen anyone give you any money). It may not be enough to really have a decent lifestyle but it sure as hell should be enough to get you off the streets.

If you need help getting clean from drugs (though you don’t really look like an addict, but I guess lots of addicts don’t look it) i’d be happy to help you get into a program.

If you need clothes to wear to your interviews, I can set you up.

If you need a place to sleep…..well you’re out of luck, I’m not having you in my apartment but I can try and help you find a shelter or something.

I would actually love the opportunity to help you out, but don’t ask me for 5 friggin cents. Its degrading to you and really doesn’t elicit any sympathy from me, strangely enough I get angry and lose any good will towards you. You can ask me for things like food, clothes, etc but I will not give you any cash.

If only I could actually say that to his face without being afraid of getting stabbed or gang banged and killed by his homeless posse or something. :s

–Ethan Gaybriel


~ by davitacuttita on July 7, 2009.

2 Responses to “The Homeless Guy Who Just Asked Me For 5 Cents.”

  1. All the guy is saying is give me any little thing you can spare. As for finding work, I expect he’s found it’s not just you that;s prejudiced against people in a wheel chair.

  2. Интересует раскрутка сайтов, или заработок в сети?.Тогда форум
    Сео треш то что тебе нужно.

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