The Fat & Ugly Truth

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The Fat & Ugly Truth
More to Love

Cut by: Davita Cuttita

I’m not much for watching television nor do I take what I see 100% seriously.

When I do watch though, I tend to watch shows that emphasize some creativity, a bit of drama and cattiness/explosive rage (Project Runway, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Hell’s Kitchen, America’s Next Top Model, etc). I kinda like disposable Reality TV shows.

Lately, I’ve gotten into watching “More to Love”, a dating reality TV show featuring fat girls and a fat guy. According to Fox, the synopsis is as follows:

“MORE TO LOVE, the new dating competition show from Mike Fleiss (“The Bachelor”), follows one regular guy’s search for love among a group of real women determined to prove that love comes in all shapes and sizes. The inspirational new series is hosted by iconic supermodel Emme.

Luke Conley is a 26-year-old former college football offensive lineman who stands 6’3″ and weighs over 300 pounds. He’s a successful sub-contractor and real estate investor who has his sights set on building a long-lasting …relationship.”

Now, trying to break negative stereotypes and challenge thinking is definitely not the point of this show. Episode 4 is just around the corner but I swear to you almost every single contestant has already cried her eyes out and professed deep feelings for this man.

Stereotypically, the fat girl is never, ever happy.

She’s laughed at and mocked for her size, excluded from a lot of activities, people who claim to be her friends often talk shit about her behind her back and although she occasionally dons a facade of confidence, deep down inside she’s sad, depressed and wishes she was thin.

Most of the women on this show seem to fit that stereotype and even worse—seek to be empowered by the “love” of a man.

Don’t get me wrong, the bachelor seems like a genuinely nice guy. However, A LOT of these girls seem to have some self-esteem issues to work on.

Occasionally on other reality TV shows, you can find very much the same thing: girls with low self-esteem or no sense of pride parading around in skimpy outfits, cat-fighting or getting shit-faced drunk to grab the attention of the camera.

My biggest problem with the show is that it seems to exploit the idea that the women are fat and claim to be unhappy.

Everytime something happens it’s “Oh my god, he makes me feel like a size 2!” or “I’m so happy that someone can see past my fat and like me for me and not think I’m ugly” which is all well and good exempting the fact that THIS IS ALL (most of) THE WOMEN EVER TALK ABOUT.

I really don’t care what size, race, age, sexual orientation or otherwise you are: if you’re desperately relying on getting into a relationship to feel good about yourself, you have a problem. You have self-esteem problems you need to sort out because a relationship will not fix them for you; if anything, these problems will probably make the relationship worse or amplify their personal effect on you.

At my current summer job I meet with tons of clients on a daily basis, one of which was a pretty high-profile person in the fashion industry who is absolutely a beat after Davita’s own heart. She once told me that “Fat and ugly people never get anywhere in this world, you know. Whenever they do, they always have to try a million times harder than everyone else and it’s true.”

I wish I had a counter-argument but we all know that it’d be a CAPSLOCK lie.

People who are deemed as fat or ugly never do get anywhere unless they fight against society’s unwritten regulations of beauty and intelligence with brass knuckles and no rules.

Most of the time, fat is simply equal to ugly; the rest of the person isn’t even given a chance.
Really, I do wish these women had more confidence in themselves but at a certain point, you kind of realize that it’s not 100% their fault.

Living in a society that traditionally portrays you as ugly, stupid, smelly and lazy would have an impact on anybody; especially when they start believing it as so many people do.

Plus, I try to keep in mind that most of these women grew up when there wasn’t really a voice for fat people in terms of the Fatosphere or HAYES. They were growing up when there wasn’t really a market for fat children and teenagers in terms of buying clothes. I can only imagine the pain and humiliation of a teen or pre-teen being taken to the same section your mother or father shops in to buy clothes and really having no other options. I can only imagine the pain and humiliation of being that age and having to ask for a seatbelt extender on the plane or attempting to squeeze yourself into the seat.

How many people do you know have been on a diet *solely* for the purpose of losing weight to look more attractive? Exactly.

What’s even worse is when these girls turn on eachother not based upon their affections for this man but because one girl might be a size 14 while another is a size 16 or one girl was never fat until she gained weight in college while another was fat her entire life.

I’m going to keep watching More to Love because it’s like watching an accident—it’s so gut-wrenchingly terrible but you can’t look away. Once in a while, I’m compelled by the stories of the fat women and the only redeeming point of the show is thus far is that they’re not talking about a “weight-loss journey”.

RuPaul (and coincidentally, my mother) has an absolutely delicious quote I save for hard days:

“How in the hell can you love someone when you don’t even love yourself?”

Go read Lesley’s “More to Love” reviews on Fatshionista! That’s also where the above image is from as well. The Capslock Lie quote is from Qu’aadir aka Timaya, whom I love with my whole heart and is gonna be the biggest Star ever, check out his YouTube channel (that I watch religiously).

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~ by davitacuttita on August 16, 2009.

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